Letter to my mother-in-law:

Just because I birthed my child through cesarean, does it make me less of a mother?

“It has been bothering me for a while. I have given birth to my baby through cesarean due to medical reasons. I know you aren’t happy about it but it was not a given choice. I thought you will be happy having a grandchild to cuddle but unfortunately, it wasn’t the case. Did you know that your words hurt me deeply.

“It is only through natural birth that you will understand the pain a mother goes through.”

 

We are disappointed too, that we could not opt for natural birth. Just because I had to go through cesarean, it doesn’t make me a “second-tier” mother! I love my baby. Did you even think about how much I went through during the 9 months of pregnancy? It was a struggle everyday. I can’t sleep well at night, and I worried for my baby all the time. I braved through the surgical process and the few months of pain and discomfort during this recovery period. Can you imagine how hurt I was when you said I wasn’t a dedicate mother? Just because I couldn’t carry the baby much during the first month? Please don’t judge me based on this!

“My cesarean doesn’t make me less of a woman nor a mother. I carried the child in my body for 9 months. I did what I had to, to make sure my baby was safe and healthy!”

I hope you will stop judging mothers who gave birth through cesarean. There are reasons why some mothers like myself can’t do natural birth and cesarean is NEVER an easy way out.”

From a new and depressed mother

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Reasons for Cesarean

Here are a few reasons why the doctor will recommend for cesarean section instead of natural birth.

1. Your baby in in distressed – There could be issues with the baby’s heart rate or that disruption in the oxygen supply.

2. Placental abruption – The placenta starts to separate from the wall of your uterus before delivery. It can cause heavy bleeding or/and complications for the baby.

3. Baby is in a breech position – There’s a chance where the baby may come out buttocks or feet first, instead of the head, making vaginal birth unsafe for the baby.

4. Expecting twins or multiples – Doctor will recommend the safest method according to individuals’ situations.

5. Previous childbirth was delivered through cesarean.

The Impact of Cesareans on Mother & Baby

Women who went through cesarean experienced a longer and more painful recovery journey. In addition, cesarean surgeries can have a huge impact on women and their families as well. These challenges can be short term while others may affect the mother or baby for a long time.

– Delay in skin-to-skin contact for mother and baby

– Risks of complications with anesthesia

– Risks of infections and rupture of wound

– Longer time to recovery

– Babies might have difficulty breathing on their own

– Challenges in breastfeeding

– Maternal death (in rare cases)

Mothers should never be judged based on how the babies were delivered. The most important thing is to ensure that both baby and mother stay safe during labour. Ultimately, no matter the mode of delivery, a parent’s love for the baby will stay the same. Do you have similar story to share? Share them with us below~

Written by Crystal Tan