Parents typically fall into various broad categories on their approach to parenting and different parenting styles may have different impact on the child’s character. Various studies have observed parenting to have an impact on the child’s behaviour and academic performance. It is to be noted though that different styles may work better for certain children and that parenting is co-relational, that is, the parents’ interactions are also influenced by the actions of the children. Regardless, it is good to know a few dominant parenting styles and understand the general impacts of each.

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Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritative parents emphasize control and obedience. This parenting style has a few key characteristics:

– Emphasis on rules and control
– Dominating
– Absolute obedience expected
– Include punishment, typically without providing explanation
– Less focus on communication
– Less focus on building a warm and supportive environment

Impact on the Child

Research suggests that a child raised under authoritarian parents may feel less secure, have lower self-esteem, leading to lacking communication and social skills. Due to high emphasis on following rules and obedience, self-motivation may be lacking and the child may perform out of desire for approval and love. The child may also rebel when parents are not around as the values are not communicated and internalized. On the other hand, the child is generally more obedient, dependable and compliant. The child may grow up to be authoritarian parents as well.

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Uninvolved Parenting

This parenting style is not engaging much of a parenting role, characterized by:

– Less time on parenting, and time spent with children
– Little or no rules
– Less time on communication
– May include excessive reliance on electronic device or TV as ‘babysitter’
– Less support for the child
– Responsibilities given to the child too early without proper parental guidance

Impact on the Child

The child may lack relational skills as such skills are acquired from young, with trust and love of the parents as the foundation. Growing up with no rules, children may have issues with following rules and self-control. This may lead to an impulsive child. If unloved, the child’s self-esteem can suffer, leading to issues with communication, leadership, intimacy and friendship.

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Permissive Parenting

This style is increasingly adopted with affluence and our mindset on values and priorities change; parents are loving, attentive but become more like a friend than an authority figure to the child. Other characteristics for this style include:

– Lots of communication
– Focus on giving attention, emotions and warmth
– Little or no rules
– No emphasis on discipline
– Little expectations set and consequences given

Impact on the Child

Children growing up with permissive parents may be more creative as they have been encouraged to explore and have the confidence to do so from their relationship with their parents. However, self-control may be lacking since children are seldom restrained. It may also lead to raising a child who feels entitled to things or having others accommodate him. Academic performance may be affected if the child has not been disciplined or imparted the values of perseverance and responsibility.

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Authoritative Parenting

Amongst the parenting styles, authoritative is the preferred as it values relationship, independence but clear limits and boundaries are set. It values rules and boundaries like the authoritarian parent but communicates these in a supportive environment. Other characteristics include:

– Gives security, display kindness, warmth and support
– Discipline when necessary, with rationale explained
– Increased responsibilities are given to the child with maturity
– Takes time to explain the rules and boundaries, and consequences
– Require obedience but does not demand submissiveness
– Set expectations, but forgiving and understanding when expectations are not met

Impact on the Child

Children of authoritative parents tend to have desired character traits, such as good self-control, independent, able to communicate and relate to others, confident and competent. This is the parenting style that research and psychologists suggest is most beneficial for the child’s character.

No one style will work best for every child but a trusted parent-child bond should be the foundation for parenting. There is no replacement for a parent, just as there is none for the child. Parenting affects the child and the couple should agree on their parenting approach and start when the child is young, and learn and adapt on the way. Parenting is a journey!

Written by Mei