“My name is Christina Wong. I’m a single mom – and an unwed mother, to be precise. My boyfriend left me upon learning that I was pregnant with his child. I was disappointed with him and his family. They told him not to be responsible for his deeds.
After giving birth to my baby, it was a tough time because I couldn’t work during the 2 months of my confinement. Without much savings, I had to go around, asking for money from friends, relatives and family members. I had to beg them for their sympathy.
I have the custody of my baby. On his birth cert, there’s no mention of his father’s name.
.
Our society still doesn’t agree with unwed mothers. We are shunned out and there are many privileges that we don’t get. For instance, my baby is not entitled for baby bonus but I am grateful that my family has been my greatest support all this while. They are my pillar of strength and why I hang on till now.
Now, I found a job as a receptionist. Recently, my sister and I started a non-profit charity organisation to reach out and help people who are struggling. I am the founder of “Single Parent & Needy Help” group. Within 2 months, we have garnered almost 1000 likes on our Facebook page.
At “Single Parent & Needy Help“, our activities evolve helping single moms (unwed and divorced), to cope with their daily lives. We help low income married couples too. We provide help to everyone regardless of their race and religion because I know what is like to be helpless and struggling. I had gone through it before – begging around and asking for help. Therefore, I know the pain.
Our organisation receives donations from the good folks and we distribute these donations to single moms and needy families. We get the satisfaction when we seethe smiles on their faces. We give them support and encouragement so that they are able to go through the hardest part of their lives and not give up. We give them motivation to stand up again and move on in their life such as looking for a job to support the family.
It is also our most sincere hope that the volunteers and people around us will continue to give their tremendous support to “Single Parent & Needy Help“. Giving a helping hand is never too late and you may save a family.”
* * * * *
Meanwhile, Mrs Petrine Chin, of Fei Yue Family Service Centre says, “there is still a stigma, in an Asian context towards single moms. The traditional family structure is still preferred.”
Mrs Chin advises, “if the single mother does not receive much support from her family of origin, she can always look at her other support systems such as friends, work and community. These can provide the necessary structure to help her cope with the challenges.”
The Principal Social Worker shares that the most difficult and most memorable case that she has ever handled is that of a single mother with a young son. “This single mom was chased out of her house by her abusive husband and was later asked to take their son along. She filed for divorce and was determined to take care of her son. With … no family support, she had to rent a place to stay.” After numerous appeals and with the help of an MP, she managed to get an HDB flat finally. The single mom “… demonstrated determination to stay free from domestic violence and provide for her son. She had counselling to cope with the loss of her marriage and overcame the traumas of the past abuse. She also learnt new ways to cope as a single mother in parenting her son.”
Mrs Chin adds that as a social worker, her role is to change the negative perceptions attached towards single moms by the society. There is also a need to “increase the society’s acceptance of single mothers.” On the other hand, these single mothers “may also need knowledge and skills to better cope with the challenges as a single mother.”
Therefore, single moms should come forward and must not feel alone. The existence of various support groups is always around to give a helping hand. Mrs Chin cites Social Service Offices (or SSO) for financial and employment matters and Family Service Centres (or FSC) for counselling issues to get support for emotional, social and financial assistance.
If you will like to share your story, write in to us at support@thenewageparents.com
Written by Noreen Yek Boussetta
